08.09.09

10 Ways to Prevent Adultery In a Christian Marriage

This post was written by Joshua of Get Christian Answers.

“You shall not commit adultery” - Exodus 20:14

If we Christians were robots that had no free-will, then the above bible verse would be a simple command to follow. Unfortunately, since we do have free-will, we tend to make very stupid and foolish decisions -  one of those being the act of adultery. Why can’t husbands just love their own wives and wives love their own husbands? In a perfect world, that would be true; but in this fallen and sinful world, it is not. Read on to discover how we at Get Christian Answers recommend you to prevent adultery in your marriage:

1. Communicate - Pour some cold water on your spouse to let your presence be known.

Ok, you don’t really have to pour water on them, but the point is you need to let your spouse know you mean serious business when you are trying to communicate with them. Do you ever think that your spouse should just know what’s on your mind? Don’t do this! Don’t assume that your spouse knows what is troubling you or your marriage. Let them know directly with words, text, sign language (for those that may be deaf), or any other method of direct communication.

2. Run from Temptation – Run like you are trying to win the 100-Meter Dash at the Olympics.

Flee from Temptation – 1 Corinthians 6:18, 1 Corinthians 10:14, 1 Timothy 6:11, and 2 Timothy 2:22

Is there someone, besides your spouse, that you find attractive? Do you find yourself thinking lustful thoughts about them in your mind? Do yourself a favor and run away as quickly as you can.  Even if you could handle it, why even take the risk?

Let’s look at a little example: Imagine that there is a man named Bill that has a wife named Hillary. Bill is walking in the park, minding his own business, when all of a sudden a woman he finds attractive, named Monica, asks him to help her “move a chair” – just the two of them inside of her house. Here is what I recommend Bill to do:

    1. Accept the offer – However, he should bring his wife Hillary to avoid any temptation from Monica.
    2. Decline the offer – He should just decline the offer if for some reason Hillary can’t make it and if Bill is to “weak” to fight the temptation between him and Monica.

3. Do NOT be Self-Righteous or Full of Pride – Only God is perfect.

As Christians, we are to live by higher standards than anyone else. We are told to be perfect, just like God is (Matthew 5:48), but we are not – no matter how much we try (Romans 3:23). Because of this, many Christians get married believing that they are immune to committing such acts as adultery. Realize that you are a sinner and that you are NOT immune to committing any sin, even adultery.

4. Think Ahead of Time – Gotta love planning!

As stated above, realize immediately that you are a sinner and that there is a possibility of you committing adultery in your future. Let’s do a little imagination exercise: Imagine how the act of adultery will affect your marriage and your kids (if any) ahead of time. Don’t like what you see? Good. Remember how hurt you felt and how hurt your spouse and kids felt so that you do not really commit the act of adultery in the future. Again, running these types of scenarios in your head ahead of time forces you to realize how adultery can destroy your marriage in the future.

5. Wear Your Wedding Ring – Keep the predators away.

A wedding ring symbolizes your love for your spouse. It says to your spouse, “I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” However, to others it says “married person walking by, try to hit on me and you’ll regret it, buddy!” It may not keep everyone away who wishes harm on your marriage, but it will help in keeping some of them away. Therefore, just wear it whenever you can.

6. Love Your Spouse Wholeheartedly – Become the ultimate love machine!

Are you loving your spouse with all of your heart? Are you following scripture (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) when loving your spouse? Are you loving them physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? If not, they may seek that love from somewhere (or someone) else and commit the act of adultery.

7. Ignore the Loss of Butterflies In Your Stomach – Love isn’t just about emotions.

Remember the first time, before you were married, you looked at your spouse and thought “Wow, I really love this person”? Do you remember all of the “butterflies” that you felt in your stomach when you thought of them? Well, as you probably already know, this feeling won’t last forever, and because of that many Christians commit adultery because they no longer feel that they are in love with their spouse. It’s true that love should be based somewhat off of emotions, but it should be based more so by actions (1 John 3:18). This means that when you no longer feel the “butterflies” in your stomach, just ignore it and focus on loving your spouse with your actions.

8. Spend Some Alone Time With Your Spouse – Just like a one-on-one match in basketball.

In a one-on-one match in basketball, it’s just you and your opponent with your complete focus on your opponent. I bring this up because this is how your one-on-one time needs to be with your spouse – your complete focus must be on them. This gives you and your spouse the opportunity to work on any issues or problems that may need to be worked on. Also, you can use this time for you and your spouse to pray and discuss your issues or problems with God. Pray for God to give you two wisdom and to lead you both in the right direction to have a successful marriage.

9. Get Outside Advice – Nothing better than an unbiased opinion.

Do you remember the saying “there are always two sides to a story”? In regards to marriage, this means that normally during an argument one spouse has his or her view, while the other has their own view. In most cases, an outside party is the only one that can provide an unbiased view of the situation. Here is a little list of recommended outside parties:

    1. Marriage Counselors – This blog post may have “10 ways to prevent adultery,” but professional marriage counselors probably have 110 ways to prevent adultery and many more valuable resources. Some services are free, but some are not.
    2. Offline Christians – Get advice from fellow Christians, face-to-face, about your marriage problems. A good place to start would be at your Church or any other place that has Christian gatherings.
    3. Online Christians – You can always ask a question and get advice from a number of Christians on our online Christian community.

10. Realize that Marriage is Hard Work – Go big, or go home.

Marriage is serious business. Don’t get married believing that marriage is 100% like the “lovey-dovey” fairytale stories that you may see on the Disney Channel (they sometimes give people a false view of what a real marriage is like). No, marriage is also about commitment, tough times, compromise, sacrifice, arguments, and your spouse driving you so crazy you wondered why you ever married them in the first place. But you see, that’s the beauty of marriage. The sooner you realize that marriage is not all “lovey-dovey” with no flaws, the sooner you are ready to defeat any thoughts of committing adultery.

Other Recommended Resources to Prevent Adultery:

  1. What Does the Bible Say About Adultery?
  2. Love Notes
  3. Fireproof
  4. The Love Dare

Let us know what you thought of this blog post by leaving us a comment!

07.24.09

How Has Christianity Changed Your Life?

1. For those that weren’t born into a Christian family:

How has your life changed since converting to Christianity? Is your life easier? Harder?

2. For those that were born into a Christian family:

How has your life and relationship with God changed over the years? Has it matured? Has it for some reason stopped maturing?

We want to hear from YOU, so answer us today by leaving a comment!

07.16.09

Visit Our New “Bible Quotes Search Engine”

We are proud to announce the release of our new Bible Quotes Search Engine over at http://biblequotes.getchristiananswers.com/.

Features:
Allows you to find the exact bible quote (or bible verse) that you are looking for in two easy steps:

  1. Start typing what you remember (for example, type in “Jesus” without the quotes) and as you are typing you should start seeing real-time search results under the search bar.
  2. Click on the specific bible quote/verse link of interest that appears, and you’re done!

We currently only support the King James Version translation of the bible, but we will add more translations in the future.

So check it out and let us know what features should be added, changed, or deleted by leaving us a comment!

07.08.09

Do Soul Mates Exist, or Can We Choose?

One common belief of a “soul mate” is that if you do not marry the “one” for you, then you will not be happy.

Does God have “one” specific person for you to marry, or do you get to choose the person that you marry with your free will?

Answer today by Leaving a Comment!

07.01.09

What Does Forgiveness Mean to You?

What Does Forgiveness Mean to You?

Something to think about while thinking of an answer to the above question:

1. Does it mean that you should “forget” the actions of those who wronged you?
2. Should you “trust” them again?
3. How many times are you willing to forgive someone?

Answer now by Leaving a Comment!

06.24.09

What is Your Favorite Book of the Bible?

What is your favorite book of the Bible and why does it happen to be your favorite?

Answer now by Leaving a Comment

06.17.09

Are There Any Good Reasons for Divorce?

Some believe, as stated in the Bible, that there are two biblical reasons for divorce:

1. Adultery (Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9).
2. Abandonment by an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:15).

Although these should be the only reasons for divorce, are there any other reasons that you can think of that would cause you to divorce your spouse (or future spouse)?

Answer now by Leaving a Comment

All comments are welcome!

06.08.09

Need a Job? View Our Job Board!

With the way the economy is, sometimes it seems impossible to find a job. Having a job is very important for taking care of yourself, family, and bills (especially with the increase in interest rates). Need a solution? Check out our Job Board, which has thousands of job listings already posted! You can view the job postings for free, so why not view our Job Board to help you in your search?

06.08.09

Change Has Arrived!

To start things off, you will notice that this blog has a new layout (cool, right?). Secondly, we want to make things more interactive with the users of this site. Which means, aside from the announcements and other site news, we will be asking you (the members) questions regarding Christianity – because we at Get Christian Answers value your feedback. Expect the questions/posts to cover a variety of topics regarding Christianity (including some bible study).

Additionally, to reward our members, expect contests & giveaways in the near future. To stay up to date you can subscribe to our RSS feeds, or you can subscribe to our newsletter on the main site.